Crickett's Journey (sfennui) wrote,
Crickett's Journey

the long goodbye... or i guess the short one

i've been wrestling with this for a while, but i'm thinking it's time. my journal has been here a while now and it's odd, but i think i got more out of it with no friends list. you hit a point where too many people in real life know you or read your journal, and anyone who knows me in real life knows that being exposed and/or vulnerable is just not my best character trait. i thought it was therapuetic to write and haven't done a journal before, and it is but i'm not sure how much benefit i'm getting any more when everything is censored for x or y reasons and i fill this space with really trivial things lately.

i've definitely enjoyed it, and i'll probably even read and comment from time to time but i think this journal has run it's course and served what purpose it could serve.

i was going to leave comments to various people, but i guess that's part of the problem. it's too easy to distance myself from the real people that i give a shit about when i can say things here and just expect that they'll read them. hopefully i'll learn to say more of them to the people i care about, even the negative. think i'm getting a little better there.

it's been a bumpy year on this thing and in the real world, but now, while things are going really well, i think i'm going to step off the net and do what i can to really appreciate everything that comes along, even the storms and some things you just can't share appropriately with the rest of an anonymous world or audience without sacrificing a part of it somehow or making it less mine.

thanks to everyone for sharing the bits of their lives that i got to see, and with that i think it's time the curtain closed on this chapter. besides, it's a beautiful day and i think it's time to play in the sun rather than linger behind a screen. and somehow that feels nice.

luv and squishings to all

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You know, I've been thinking that it's almost time to end my journal also...maybe in another month when the new year comes. I guess it was great while it lasted, but it's time to close that chapter. Anyways, I just wanted to say that it's been great reading about your life. Your journal never fails to make me laugh or cry. But we should still talk on IM sometime! I'll have to keep on stalking you.
definitely keep stalking me. i'll still read your lj while it was there. i still remember the first entry i read an laughing so hard. plus you seem to just get me with the negative and the positive and that makes it kinda cool.

you still have to make your way down south one of these days.
Well, you have my number. I'd still like to meet you even if you withdraw from LJ ;-)
definitely. maybe we'll get the chance to be festive over the holidays at some point. =) i'll be working on getting better at using that whole phone cotraption either way.
Awwwwwwwww ill miss you!!
you too cutie. hope the stress and drama you've had levels out. definitely seemed like you'd be a fun guy to know.
luv and squishings back at you!

Drop me a line now and then to see how life
will do. :)
Big least for me it would be. Hopefully this means we'll talk more, rather than less. I still have to get over to see the new place sometime this week. *hugs*
trying to make the effort to talk more. *g* definitely having more fun these days when we do get to hang out.


Beautiful Man,

I've grown to care about you very much over the years. I hope you don't mind that I send you the odd email here and there to see how you are doing.

Even though we've never met, we've never spoken, and I don't email you. I think about you as the awesome person that you are.

The path to you is blinding, and I'll always care. You rock Jimmy.

If there is anything you ever need, if it is within my power it's yours.

***Big Hugs***
thanks, Phil. you've definitely been great when i needed to feel like there was someone out there to lean on, and you better send me the occassional email or even the occassional call. i've always got lots of room for amazing people in my life.

*squishings and luv*


Re: Hey


14 years ago

Not much to say, but the journal thing isn't for me either.....I was never quite into it anyway and your passing makes me feel the same.....

I don't know who I am or who I should be, so it's time that I stop writing it down in print. Not like any of my friends, besides two old ones, listen to it anyway. The one I'm not even sure knows that I still exist.

I have been goign threw quite a lot lately, not sure about who I am at all...I should be a rock star by now, but am not. My random thoughts are hurting me and I almost think it's time to go from this Earth of ours.

I have totally ageed with myself that there is no God. If their was, thoughts and memories would be more thabn just mere electricity. One short, one wrong electrical jolt and your memories are no longer there, people can be erased in an instant...

It's a shadowy night and I am going. Thanks to al who have listened and who have no idea who I am...

um, what are you talking about? you need to call me cuz now you're gonna have me worried. or get your ass up here to visit or something.

you gonna be proud of me for getting my first ink next month?


sorry that you're going through a hard time. people out there give a shit. definitely me. *g* besides, you made me the faggot i am today. ;p

call me. i don't think i have your new number

(415) 652-1921
true enough. stop by and tell us hello occasionally.
will do. hope things are going fabulously.
I will miss your journal. I'm glad that I got to meet you too. Please keep in touch.

will do. and we have a spare room at the new place so if you ever make it back out for a visit, you're always welcome to crash space.

I love you and am glad that we can talk on the Phone.

Hope you're well.

luv you too, cutie. hope being back on the road goes well and that the time away for thanksgiving was restful